Dark Thoughts
by KitKatChan92
Summary: Fili/Kili/Bilbo Pairing, will be slash later. Please review I want to know what you guys think. This is AU I own nothing and all credit goes to Tolkien for the characters.


_This is an AU, this will get dark, and I have no regrets._

_Reviews are most welcome, please I need to hear your thoughts people! D:_

Dark Thoughts

A Fili/Kili/Bilbo fan fic.

Bilbo couldn't feel anything anymore, his entire body had gone numb from the pain that seemed to radiate throughout his entire body. "_Betrayer! You lying thief! Get OUT! OUT! Before I RUN YOU THROUGH!"_

Those were the words that kept ringing through his head as Bilbo started to wander away from the camps. They had won the war, but at a terrible price, Thorin, Fili, and Kili had all been grievously wounded. Bilbo had fought along side them with the ring on, he feared that even if he was trying to help them Thorin would run him through right there and then. Fili and Kili had not thought of Bilbo as a betrayer, and they had protested to their uncle when he had threatened to take Bilbo's life there atop the mountain. Only to be silence by Thorin's blinded rage over the Arkentstone. Bilbo still couldn't believe after saving Thorin's life countless times that the dwarf still couldn't see that all Bilbo had wanted to do was help them survive and find their home again.

And now he had surely lost the love of his two most favorite dwarves…Fili and Kili. Never being able to see them again or if they had even survived their wounds. Bilbo had thought that he had found his family at long last. Being alone over the years since his parents death had a terrible toll on Bilbo. While he wasn't abnormal or anything for a hobbit, he was still considered a bit weird around the Shire.

The Shire. Bilbo shuddered to think what would happen if he came home…would they banish him from there too? For just suddenly upping and leaving? Bilbo's chest tightened at the thought of never ever again having a home, not matter how empty it would seem since he would most likely never ever see Fili and Kili again. Tears formed in his eyes and they slowly rolled down his cheeks. Bilbo hadn't gotten far from the camp when Gandalf appeared next to him, gently clearing his throat. That made Bilbo jump a little bit and look up,

"Oh..Gandalf…its you.." Bilbo's voice sounded disappointed at seeing the old wizard.

Gandalf just frowned and said nothing while walking alongside Bilbo. Though after a few minutes he said,

"I'm very sorry my dear Bilbo…Give it time, I'm sure Thorin will recover from his gold sickness…"

Bilbo looked at Gandalf sharply, a scowl across his face as fresh tears started to roll down them.

"Time? I highly doubt time would or will change anything…..I meant nothing to them at all…none of the others tried to reason with Thorin. They just stayed back and let him yell and threaten me…I know Fili and Kili tried to reason with him…but apparently they didn't care enough to fight more….I just want to go home Gandalf…please.."

Bilbo had many dark thoughts enter his mind, he really did mean nothing to the company. If no one tried any harder to fight for him. Bilbo felt so foolish for thinking that he had found a new home….a family….apparently all he was really good for was burglaring and a quick romp in a bed…Bilbo's heart started to ache terribly as he choked down a sob and tried not to cry. Memories of laughing with everyone and sharing good times especially with the two Durin brothers who had some how managed to mine their way into his heart.

Though apparently he hadn't made it successfully into theirs…that thought about just being used tore him apart inside. While in the back of his mind some small logic whispered to him that he HAD meant something to the brothers and the rest of the company. For he knew all to well how stubborn Thorin could get. For Aule's sake, it had taken half the journey for him to finally trust and think Bilbo as an asset instead of a burden.

Gandalf nodded his head and walked with Bilbo, he would make sure that the Hobbit would make it safely back home. After walking a ways, they had come upon a small town where Gandalf procured some rooms at an inn for the night. Bilbo had expressed that he just wanted to be left alone and Gandalf had agreed but mentioned that he would be right next door just in case Bilbo would need something or someone to talk to.

Bilbo thanked the old wizard before going to his room and closing the door behind him. Then and only then did he break down and fall to the floor. Broken sobs pouring out of him and shaking his small frame as if he had some great chills. Large fat tears rolled down his face and snot fell from his nose as Bilbo sobbed and poured out all of his heartbreak. He had loved the Durin brothers so much that it physically hurt him knowing that he could never see them again. His entire chest ached and tightened with every fleeting memory of them together. Bilbo could barely breath and he knew that he had to somehow gain control over himself. He tried to forget to purge his mind of everything, but to no avail. His emotions were stronger and his love still, even at the thought of being forgotten by the ones who he loved most. Eventually sleep overtook him, Bilbo laid on the floor sleeping while his breathing would hitch occasionally due to his hyperventilating earlier.

Back at the war camps, Thorin, Fili, and Kili had begun to wake up from their wounds. The healers had said that with time they would heal and continue to live. Much to everyones relief, though everyone turned sad when the two Princes asked about the halfing. Thorin just glared at them from his sick bed, he was still very upset with the hobbit. He couldn't begin to forgive him, and he absoloutly refuse's to let his nephews go after such a worthless creature. Thorin knew well how much Fili and Kili cared for the halfling. He knew all to well how much they loved him...but the gold sickness was still blinding him to everything. Much to Fili and Kili's dispair... They knew they wouldn't be allowed to go and find Bilbo after they had healed... But that didn't mean they wouldn't try. Fili already regretted not fighting against his uncle harder along with Kili. They hadn't had much time before as they were still getting to know each other and then the war came upon them along with the Arkenstone incident. Thought Fili and Kili knew that Bilbo was their one, dwarves only loved once and when they did it was hard for them to be parted for long. Fili would think of someway to get himself and his brother back to their One...he only hoped that Bilbo wasn't suffering too much...Balin had told him that Bilbo was alive at least, but was nowhere to be seen around camp. Thorin had the nerve to say that he had probably slinked back to his worthless hole of a home.

Fili had never ever had ill feelings towards his uncle before but after hearing what his uncle had just said he snapped. He ended up yelling and cursing at his uncle, eventually healers had to come inside the tent to sedate him in order to make sure his wounds healed properly. Kili needed the same after yelling at Thorin, who was shocked overall to see that his nephews still cared so much about such a worthless creature...he thought that they too thought Bilbo a betrayer. Even if the halfling claimed to have only taken the Arkenstone to save their lives. Thorin was just too consumed with his greed to let any sort of logic into his brain. That night Thorin had a fitful sleep, he dreamt about his nephews being dead...and the halfling as well. It confused him to no end and eventually he just stayed awake, trying to get the hobbit off his mind. He refused to acknowledge any form of guilt. Though Thorin was slowly getting over his sickness with out even realizing it.


End file.
